One of the ways in which I’ve failed to adapt to being in a wheelchair is that I don’t seem to experience physical fear in the same way others do. This is not to claim that I am especially brave or even necessarily stupid; just that I’ll happily endanger myself for no better reason than whim (note: this is not how I ended up in the chair). It’s not that I’m reckless, either; I carefully calculate risk. It’s just that I tend to value my own life and limbs differently to the way most people value theirs.

Today this led to the blithering and near-fatal act of moving a piece of heavy exercise equipment by myself.

It also resulted in the quasi-famous Sainsbury’s travelator incident of 2021. You see, I was thinking “what’s the worst thing that could happen? I might fall out of the chair” And everyone else was thinking “holy fucking christ, he might fall out of the chair!”

You see, same calculation of risk, but with a different value assigned to the outcome. I can’t help it and I don’t want to help it. I see a steep flight of worn, slippery steps and I think “some day…”

And yes, of course I fell out of the chair.